I entered my first all gender bathroom last night and man, it was a trip. It also got me thinking of the possibilities, among other thoughts.

I went to see Digable Planets last night at Thalia Hall in Chicago. I live in the suburbs but was a city dweller for 5 years.

Let’s talk about the show first. The show was mad hype, Digable Planets have not lost a step. Butterfly, Ladybug Mecca and Doodlebug (a graphic novelist too) all came with the lyrics, flow and stage presence. They also had a live band backing them which were some really incredible musicians. Bass, guitar, drums, tenor sax and keyboard. Butterfly had a drum machine/sampler on a podium he worked with on a few songs. I tried to peep what he was using but I couldn’t tell from the angle. It might have been a MASCHINE MiKRO MK3.

Digable took a short break while the band played Jungle Boogie, riding that out from the end of “Jettin.” The bass and guitar player did a nice riff breakdown that the crowd went insane for. Chicago music crowds show love when it’s earned. I know if I ever go to a show not around here and the crowd sucks, I’ll most likely say to myself, “Not a Chicago crowd.” And it definitely doesn’t matter if it’s cold out, in fact, the colder it is outside, the more possibility of a sell out (which this was).

Last song was “Rebirth of Slick,” with encore “9th Wonder.” Enjoyable show with a good ending.

Thalia Hall is a fantastic venue. Beautiful, great acoustics. It resides in Pilsen, which is maybe my favorite neighborhood in Chicago. If I had to choose one. The Latino heritage is so strong and proud with beautiful street art and murals. It’s a friendly artistic neighborhood, great culinary choices and all around vibrant spirits. It’s also not gone full yuppie and taken grit out of the ethos (see Wicker Park). I could be wrong on that but from what I’ve seen my last few times there it doesn’t seem so. If any Chicagoans here disagree feel free to correct me in the comments. My city knowledge isn’t what it used to be.

I ran 5 Chicago Marathons and Pilsen was always a welcome neighborhood on the 26.2 journey. They come out to support!!! They are proud of their neighborhood as they should be. Pilsen is a neighborhood you need at miles 19 and 20 (note: that’s what the course was when I ran). After this you get no crowd support until the last two miles, kind of in no man’s land. They bring out food, I always copped a banana from someone. Usually I would only get bananas or any food from the licensed stations (don’t want to risk stomach issues) but Pilsen was my exception. Friendliest people and being able to view the murals and street art at that point, priceless!

Alright, now to the bathroom. I just walk to the area and it looks like men and women are all lined up together. I see men and women waiting in the bathroom I haven’t entered yet with the trough sink behind them. As soon as I’m about to internally say, “What the,” I see the door say “All Genders Restroom.”

There’s no turning back and no other options. You are being led into the Twilight Zone. Rod Serling is calling. So there is a line for the urinals (didn’t see any women in that one) and a separate line for the toilets (some men and all the women). When I went to the urinal I couldn’t help but look back to see if women were checking out our scene. Some of them were as if we were animals in the Zoo, like so that’s what they do. Or they might have really liked the R Kelly video, who knows.

A guy really loud talked about how guys will probably wash their hands now that there are women present. No one responded. He said it again. No one responded. I’m really hoping right now he’s sitting at home crying how no one likes him.

I did however, out of the ridiculous absurdity of the moment say to a guy next to me quietly, “You know, they should extend this to Wrigley Field, it would make the trough more interesting.”

“Use the trough? How would that work?”

“I’m joking, just taking this out to conclusions.”

“Oh gotcha, yeah, that would be interesting.”

For those that don’t know, Wrigley Field, in the men’s bathroom has a long trough that men urinate in. It actually goes around too so you are not only standing next to two other men relieving themselves and hoping you don’t get splashed (no divider and swaying drunk), but you are standing across from other men doing the same. You can look them in the eye. Thank God, because of the lower wall, you can’t look at the snake eye. Wrigley Field was built in 1914 and has retained it’s charm.

I go to wash my hands and there are not separate sinks. We all share one long sink with hand sensors for water. I give it three tries under my sensor and it doesn’t work. The one to my left is open but, for the first time in my life, I reached over a woman who was up against the sink doing her makeup.

“Excuse me,” I said politely as I could.

“No worries,” she said and backed away, still adjusting her eyeliner. Weird.

This bathroom break for me was in between the opening act and Digable. I thought when I came out of there that if Digable had been playing this might have just been another flashback to bathroom breaks 90s House Parties with “Blowout Comb” playing in the background amongst weed smoke. That would have been a nice thought.

Instead it was just “What the fuck was that?”

People were talking about it. I overheard two blue haired women discussing in not so glowing terms. I immediately had a thought, didn’t act on it, instead outsourced it to a dream of a sister overhearing and saying, “Y’all bitches wanted this shit!” I moved on.

It’s interesting because I didn’t gain one iota of appreciation for women through that experience. No improvement, no loss either. A shrug of the shoulders. Nothing improved upon what I already have, unlike Substack, which I improve upon every single day with the brilliant, loving women I have found and continue to find here.

The community of men and women on Substack respecting each other and lifting each other up, appreciating our differences, histories and experiences is phenomenal. Showing each other respect and care. This is an example how men and women can work together and not be divided. We don’t need to go to the bathroom with each other to make that leap. Boundaries are a good thing.

On the way home I thought about certain things like what if you are a dude who is single and you meet a female at a club/venue that only has all genders? Imagine if you spit good game, then nature calls and you have to drop a deuce. Are you waiting in the stall line and then entering the stall, praying to God that her or one of her friends doesn’t come in? What a nightmare!!! Women can’t use this same scenario because you could go into the stall and we would never know what you are doing in there. Never thought I’d say these three words ever in this context but, “Must be nice!”

Imagine the dude gets found out, walks back out and orders the most expensive drink to look cool, takes a drink, turns to the girl group and says suavely, “Yeah, just so you know, I sit down when I pee.” Good luck pimp!

If this starts getting out of hand I might learn the art of makeup. Not for myself but to show my appreciation and knowledge if I happen to be next to a pretty girl at the sink. I’ll still be me in all of my heterosexual maleness too. I’ll just be like yeah, that color on you looks good, if you do a splash of … I think that could really help with your complexion. It could be a whole new way of flirting. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

“See that guy over there.”

“Yeah, girl he’s cute.”

“He was telling me all kinds of stuff about my makeup, very knowledgable, but not weird, charming.”

When the man brings something down, you got to build your parallel economy around it.

Please express your thoughts in the comments. I would love to hear people’s opinions on this. Honestly, it’s something I can get over, kind of, but I think it’s SOOOOOO UNNECESSARY. I’m just speaking for me though, in the get over it sense. I understand if women do not feel the same. Frankly, if these are done away with it will be because of women taking a stand. I don’t see men making this a line in the sand. I feel this is a long way from being everywhere but who knows. Will I be restacking this in two years?

I know with venues it’s easier said than done with sewage, water and so forth but ideally could there be a men’s, women’s and gender neutral? Is that fair? Does that cover it? I’m not being facetious here. I’m an anarchist so to me this would not force anyone to share space with someone they don’t want to. Even a person who has undergone a change could choose what is most comfortable to them. But then, what if they just say they are a woman to be near one? The answer I have for that is protect yourself ladies. That is a great equalizer. Again, thoughts, comments?

I’m having a nice weekend of entertainment. Going to see my boy Sam Tripoli do Stand Up in a few hours. I’ll get his thoughts on this after the show. He lives in LA so maybe he has already dealt with this.

Peace.